So I've realised that for the last few months (OK, the last 8 months and 14 days - not that I'm keeping count) that i have been completely switched off. Several of my friends have suggested this to me (most frequently Ms. M - you just know me so well Ms. M.) over this long, long period, and i sort of believed them. After all what else could explain it? But a few events of the past week have caused that switch to flick and suddenly, being back on (I see the light!) I realise just how bad it was.
Let me be clear, for those of you who haven't had this conversation with me (and i know it's not many of you). As you know if you've read my past posts at the start of the year i cut my boys off. Least the ones i had at that stage. I didn't intend to cut off all guys ever. I just decided that my priorities had changed and friends with benefits was no longer what i wanted and it was just more trouble than it was worth. Unconsciously however i seemed to flick the switch that is my, how shall we say?... irrepressible and veracious flirt vibe. You know what i mean. I'm a flirt, i love to flirt and i love where it can take you and when i flirt I'm, to quote "a force to be reckoned with".
Anyway on Sunday night i went to the Monash Law Ball (i know, i know, I'm not a law student or a Monash student - but that's all the more reason to go and disgrace yourself). Needless to say i took advantage of the free alcohol and i got SMASHED. I was barely conscious at 9.30pm. No, that's a lie, i was never in danger of losing consciousness (much as Hils may have wished me to). But for some reason i suddenly got my flirt back. And, naturally, i hooked up. Not a bad one either, despite my state, he was tall and relatively good looking and wearing a white top hat and tails suit. I don't know his name but I'll call him Uncle Sam (due to the colours of his waistcoat). Drunk and dancing on a way too crowded dance floor in bare feet (it's hard to co-ordinate when drunk and dancing in heels) i met him, not sure how (can't remember)and we danced together. He noticed i didn't have any shoes on
"You don't have any shoes on!" He said in surprise. In my drunken head i said 'well of course not, i took them off' out loud i put on a mock-surprised look and tone
"Oh my god, where can they be?"
"You've lost them?" He asked in concern. Tsk.
"No, don't be stupid." I replied and continued to dance as he looked utterly confused. How we got from there to making out is totally beyond my recollection. Thus i must put it down to my switch flicking back on. I met lots of people that night, and flirted with them all (even when i sobered up a bit) and it was great.
Then, two nights ago,i had one of those dreams. You know the ones. And it was vivid. Really, really vivid. It was, to put it bluntly, mind-blowingly toe-numbing. And it was the whole dream, complete, no waking up before the really good bit. Now, not to harp on about poor little actionless me, but it's been a good while since i've had any kind of nocturnal action and this was much appreciated. The only concern i have, post-dream, is that the guy was someone i actually know. And i keep getting these intense flashbacks - like it really happened and wasn't all in my head. I am now rather concerned that the next time i see Mr. Action i may just jump his bones. Something that i really shouldn't do. So if i avoid you for the next couple of weeks you'll know why. Or if i suddenly jump you you will also know why.
The switch is back on ladies and gents! I noticed it as i worked today, flirting away with the customers. I noticed it as i walked through uni, undressing good looking guys with my eyes and not caring if they noticed (in fact winking roguishly when they did - that' s me, the rogue). I noticed it when i was in the supermarket and managed to get the two guys in front of me in the line to let me go first. Yes, the switch is back on.
Brace yourselves, i have plenty of missed time to catch up on!
Kisses, L.
Let me be clear, for those of you who haven't had this conversation with me (and i know it's not many of you). As you know if you've read my past posts at the start of the year i cut my boys off. Least the ones i had at that stage. I didn't intend to cut off all guys ever. I just decided that my priorities had changed and friends with benefits was no longer what i wanted and it was just more trouble than it was worth. Unconsciously however i seemed to flick the switch that is my, how shall we say?... irrepressible and veracious flirt vibe. You know what i mean. I'm a flirt, i love to flirt and i love where it can take you and when i flirt I'm, to quote "a force to be reckoned with".
Anyway on Sunday night i went to the Monash Law Ball (i know, i know, I'm not a law student or a Monash student - but that's all the more reason to go and disgrace yourself). Needless to say i took advantage of the free alcohol and i got SMASHED. I was barely conscious at 9.30pm. No, that's a lie, i was never in danger of losing consciousness (much as Hils may have wished me to). But for some reason i suddenly got my flirt back. And, naturally, i hooked up. Not a bad one either, despite my state, he was tall and relatively good looking and wearing a white top hat and tails suit. I don't know his name but I'll call him Uncle Sam (due to the colours of his waistcoat). Drunk and dancing on a way too crowded dance floor in bare feet (it's hard to co-ordinate when drunk and dancing in heels) i met him, not sure how (can't remember)and we danced together. He noticed i didn't have any shoes on
"You don't have any shoes on!" He said in surprise. In my drunken head i said 'well of course not, i took them off' out loud i put on a mock-surprised look and tone
"Oh my god, where can they be?"
"You've lost them?" He asked in concern. Tsk.
"No, don't be stupid." I replied and continued to dance as he looked utterly confused. How we got from there to making out is totally beyond my recollection. Thus i must put it down to my switch flicking back on. I met lots of people that night, and flirted with them all (even when i sobered up a bit) and it was great.
Then, two nights ago,i had one of those dreams. You know the ones. And it was vivid. Really, really vivid. It was, to put it bluntly, mind-blowingly toe-numbing. And it was the whole dream, complete, no waking up before the really good bit. Now, not to harp on about poor little actionless me, but it's been a good while since i've had any kind of nocturnal action and this was much appreciated. The only concern i have, post-dream, is that the guy was someone i actually know. And i keep getting these intense flashbacks - like it really happened and wasn't all in my head. I am now rather concerned that the next time i see Mr. Action i may just jump his bones. Something that i really shouldn't do. So if i avoid you for the next couple of weeks you'll know why. Or if i suddenly jump you you will also know why.
The switch is back on ladies and gents! I noticed it as i worked today, flirting away with the customers. I noticed it as i walked through uni, undressing good looking guys with my eyes and not caring if they noticed (in fact winking roguishly when they did - that' s me, the rogue). I noticed it when i was in the supermarket and managed to get the two guys in front of me in the line to let me go first. Yes, the switch is back on.
Brace yourselves, i have plenty of missed time to catch up on!
Kisses, L.
*for pics of me at the law ball, check out Hils' facebook page
9 comments:
Woo hoo you quoted me! And woo hoo you're back online!
I must say, as you already know, it has been quite disturbing for me this past eight months and thirteen days to watch you be so obliviously out of 'the game' (to quote a particularly quotable young man). I still remember the day I realised this was the case: about three months ago when we were walking down Collins street and were practially eye-raped by a criminally good-looking adonis of a man, dressed in a thousand-dollar suit nonchalantly sipping an espresso and staring at us with his piercing blue eyes. He was prime Leah fodder so when you not only failed to eye-rape him back but to NOTICE HIM AT ALL, I knew something was amiss. When this continued to happen on subsequent nights out, my concern only grew. It's not people necessarily need to be consciously engaged in 'the banter' (as they say in the game), but for someone previously so renowned for their ability to, err, give good banter, the change was huge.
Long story short, I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that Leah is back in town - indeed, I have heard about your dream, seen the law ball photos and sat with you in the library as you've tried to hump my leg: the signs definitely point to 'all systems go'.
Welcome back you force of nature!
M
xoxo
Correction to my poor typing: it's not necessarily that people need to be consciously engaged...
Am I Mr. Action?
(Please answer in the affirmative)
As if you could ever embarrass me, after almost 10 years I would think you should know this hun... you were hilariously good fun, I'll get drunk with you anytime my love!!!
Love Hils
xxoo
well you embarrassed me! leah taking of your shoes! how dear you? how dare you separate yourself from a pair so magnificent?
ps you looked mighty fine that night and i was devasted when you picked the guy over me on the dance floor. you were lucky nick was there as my 2nd choice or i would have totally fought the guy for your affection. you were also lucky the swan was there...but thats a whole thing all together...
kazza
My my, we are back in the game with a vengeance aren't we??...;)
maybe you should write a book on being "back in the game; a guide to eye-raping and blood-stirring"
what say you?
Shameless flirting is always a bonus. Life is too boring to just stare at your shoes all day and night.
Using blog posts to flirt too is a nice touch too, though a little subversive to your audience.
Just remember, hate the player, not the game...
Leah, you never lost your flirtness: you always had it and you always will. I don't think there's anything wrong with failing to notice 'eye rapists' (and can we stop using that term? I'm imagining eye penetration and all sorts of horrible outcomes).
I'm inclined to think that your lack of flirtatiousness has something to do with a change in your taste in men. For all that the above quoted thousand dollar suit wearing adonis may have been attracted to you, I think that deep down you know that he was probably a sociopath just waiting to shove a power drill in your face then try to make meatloaf out of you a la Patrick Bateman...
Anyway, I love the flirty leah til death do us part, but I think her priorities have definitely changed and while she CAN have ANY man she wants, she probably knows that a lot of the men out there aren't worth having and most likely, they are the ones wearing thousand dollar suits and peircing blue stares. Remember, the ability to get whichever man you fancy means that you have the opportunity to be ultra picky and avoid certain A Grade Nobs...
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