As you would probably know by now i have not been in a relationship with a guy for long enough now that it's becoming a bit of an issue of mine. What you may or may not have known is that I've cut off my casuals as well. From February i went into what can be more pleasantly termed a guy detox. Less pleasantly it can be said i got fed up with the lot of them and threw in the towel and went cold turkey. This has turned out to be a lot harder than i anticipated. Also i didn't expect it to last so long. This is in fact the longest I've gone without sex since, well since i started having sex back in my VCE days.
On Thursday night i had a girls night with Miss M and Miss C which included a long-talked about visit to Sexyland. We spent a good two and a half hours in the store. We tried on sexy lingerie and costumes, we browsed the dvd collection - Miss M. with a purpose, a certain title had been recommended to her - and we whipped each other with the various riding crops and whips. Then there were the discussions about different types of lube (silicon vs waterbased, Swiss Pluss vs Ansel) the disbelief as we saw the sizes and shapes of various toys and the comparison between different vibrators. No wonder we were there for as long as we were and we had a blast! It was like Christmas and our birthdays rolled into one! So now we are all card-holding members to Sexyland and we all left with a purchase, or two. My purchase was by far the most extravagant - after all i need little encouragement to impulse buy and i was getting quite a lot from the other two so it's a given that i bought the toy.
Yes i did. And it's so pretty to look at and we pushed all the buttons and there was a collective giggle and "ooohhhh" from the three of us as all it's functions were demonstrated. Yes folks i got myself a Rabbit. That's right, the Rabbit. And i do not for one moment regret the purchase. Not then, and definitely not now. In fact I'm not sure who was more excited that i got it, me or Miss M. However after owning it for the past 4 days, 22 hours and 17 minutes i can confidently say that i am much more pleased with it than Miss M. On the very first night it reminded me of the intense and utterly pleasant sensation i feel at a certain... moment and my toes go numb. Very few 'real' men have been able to get me to that stage with such finesse and, well shall we say map-reading by my self. Even fewer have accomplished to the level that causes me to tingle right down to my feet and not feel my toes for a whole minute. And it wasn't just a once off. I confess i have shared my bed with my versatile new friend every night since and am now starting to think that my toes will suffer from blood-loss.
Man-drought be damned I'm staying in tonight (and possibly every night to come) with my darling, multi-skilled Rabbit.
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21 comments:
Hello Sailor!
Fabulous post as usual darling , I feel a little dirty just from having read it (but isn't that the way with all the good things in life?!) I'm glad you found our trip a fruitful one. I wish I could've been as adventurous as you with my purchase, but maybe next time.
Just make sure you make it out of the house some time this week ok? I don't want to have to organise an intervention to come around to your house Sex and the City style and pry your Rabbit-addicted loins away from that damn machine. OK?!?
But mechanical sex is safe sex so I at least feel comfortable with the fact that you are not at risk of getting pregnant or catching a disease (my sources inform me they are called STIs not STDs now---I just can't keep up).
I need to go bathe now but GREAT post.
M
xoxo
I promise that i will come out this week. I'll come to Dean's little birthday shin-dig, when he actually organises it, and then invites me (hint hint Dean if you read this). I also won't be making it a late one however since i have lots of uni the next day.
You totally should have gotten that little red number - or at least tried it on. Not to worry, we will go back.
And i am a saftey girl when it comes to safe-sex, mechanical or otherwise, i am a buffet of safety (that came out wrong but you get my meaning). I'm thinking of naming the Rabbit, what do you think? Something strong and manly. I thought Hercules but taht's sooo tacky, and besides he was too gay for words which can be a little destracting since i'm a woman. Spartacus? I need Svet and Alex to help me with this one and soon or the Rabbit is going to remain the Rabbit in my head forever.
kisses, L.
heheh naming the rabbit huh? Gives new meaning to rabbit skin... LOL (sorry reference to a dirty story that Jonas told :P You will have to watch it...so very naughty )
Excellent post my dearie. You explained and illustrated much better than I did. Remaining vague but still telling some juicy details :P. I am intrigued by your rabbit though I don't know if I would be game enough. Plus I promised Dirty Jim that I wouldn't replace him :P:P:P and by the sounds of it, I think I would be compelled too!
me = scared for life
you cant name it spartacus. thats the name of the new Mr.Fishy
Don't you realise that posts about vibrators and Sexyland were MY thing? And if you're going to copy me, you at least need some photos.
Pfft, no respect *mumbles incoherently
ZOE! STAY OFF THIS BLOG! It's for over 18's only.
Anyway, having had two different vibrators bought for me, I have to say that it really is something you need to get for yourself, or at least have your really really good friends buy it for you (NOT as a joke). So congrats Leah, I hope you have many fun nights in...YOURSELF!!! Hahaha!
Wuv woo xxx
At 10 years old, masturbation was a hilarious insult.
Bob: "You masurbate!"
*enormous laughs*
John: "Nup - Adam does"
*more laughter*
At 15 years old, guys do it and girls vehemently deny it.
Bob: "John masturbated 10 times in one day. Thats like, a record - awesome!"
Jane: "Ewwwwwww.."
Bob: "Like you girls dont."
Jane: "Ewwwwwww.."
At 20+, the girls want their turn in the spotlight, usually in blog form.
Jane: "These new fangled phallic instruments fill, buzz and caress my every orifice - I hope you're reading this Bob - I DONT NEED YOU!!"
And they say girls mature faster.
Stuuuuu, i think someone's manhood is feeling threatened.
Rock on Fortunecat!
Though I must admit, maybe it's not something men generally talk about too much [unless it involves some sort of turkeyslapping or something] based on the fact that it's just not that good to hear about.
I mean, I remember one old man in a wheelchair getting pushed around the "What's New" in Mornington by his obviously gold-digging wife [who looked about 40 compared to his 80]. They were buying a special glove and lube. I wonder what it was for? That's right. Ew.
As for names, if you're going the ancient path, Adonis is too obvious, but for some reason "Samson" seems to jump out at me. It's handy, since it's a slight against religion to be putting such a fellow between your thighs, thus heightening the devilish pleasure of course!
As for the workers at Sexyland, and related stores, for some reason this jumps out at me. I don't know why...
http://plif.andkon.com/archive/wc244.gif
and the best thing about battery operated devices you don't have to hug, kiss and tell them how great they were afterwards.
every girl should have one or 3. one for your handbag- i suggest the rabbit mini, one for your bedside table and one for your bathroom draw. make sure the one in your bathroom draw is the one that is waterproof-rabbits don't swim ;)
love k
ps addiction to battery operated devices doesn't just happen wen you are in a man drought, doesn't matter if there is a man flood, when you stumble on a good thing well you just want to keep on 'stumbling'
I agree with K,
Leah, I think it's very dangerous to assume that you are succeptible to this new addiction only because you are currently experiencing a man drought. Quite frankly I do not know why the case would be any different if you had a man. Think about it:
---A guaranteed outcome
---No need to shave/wax/bathe or smell good in general
---No need for panties of the non-granny variety...no need for underwear in general!
---No need to reciprocate
---And with the option of a repeat if you're still feeling up to it after your first round....
It seems to me that this is the next global pandemic. In fact, once we work out how to grow babies in a bubble using artificial sperm, I really don't see the need for the other gender...
...well I guess, despite what K thinks the kissing is a bonus. But the way technology is heading I'm sure we could work out some way to simulate that too.
WAIT, or we could just kiss each other and have our other needs met by a combination of the Rabbit, exercise endorphins and Cadbury.
Argh-I'll let the testosteroned-ones on this board digest the girl-on-girl kissing remark for a moment...I know how it will impair the somewhat.
M
xoxo
OH and as for names. I think it's fitting that given your professional direction, your rabbit should have a name the correlates to your archeological passions (afterall, it sure does its fair share of digging...).
I'm thinking something Egyptian at this stage, perhaps Ramesses---emphasis on the RAM part.
It sticks with the ancient theme you seem to have going and it's manly without being cringe-worthy (ala Fabio or Hercules).
M
xoxo
Oh and Leah:
http://rabbitsanonymous.blogspot.com/2006/08/are-you-addict.html
Yes, there is an online support group.
Coincidence that they use the same template as yours???
I think not...
M
xoxo
I didnt mean to imply I'm against the use of sex toys, far from it. They're a welcome addition to any, um... 'toolbox'.
If Maya had her way, the female race would be one big kissing, smelly, writhing ball of flesh and rampant pubic hair, hooked up to millions of rabbit-esque tentacles, wallowing in their personal joy.
Threatened? No. Horrified maybe.
Oh Stu, your imagery never fails to make me shudder and then dry wretch. But that's why we love you...
I don't think the majority of guys need fear the Rabbit. Sure, it may be 'all dat', but when it comes down to it, my stinginess will probably win out over my decadent horniness. The fact of the matter is, $187 worth of fun is currently too rich for my blood.
Give me a wooden stool, decent stereo and pounding bass beat and I'll manage just fine on my own.
M
xoxo
Personally, I would never let a rabbit burrow inside my foxhole. But I dare say it's more comfortable than cold turkey - I'm not surprised that was harder than you anticipated, Leah. What were were you thinking?
too much info divine miss m
This is all starting to sound like a Hentai film...
Interestingly enough the 'graphic novel' I've just finished reading basically had men wiped off the face of the planet once humanity found out the means to asexual reproduction. An unnecessary by-product of the evolutionary process. Well all the men except one guy and his monkey...
Yup. A monkey...
So please don't find out how to replace us yet, or at least not until I buy a monkey.
professional name to do with leah's studies? Digger?
k
Oh such entertaining words! Though I must remember not to read this in a lecture next time. I got some weird stares today :S
I agree with miss M, there is no need to think that you are addicted to these rabbit pleasures because you are going through a man drought. I mean, even if you had a bf, you couldn't have sex every night. See, the rabbit is just there to take care of things when that man isn't around. See? Problem solved :)
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